Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize