Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
