How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
