its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
