its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
