the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
