well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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