Just cropdusted the office
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
