i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
