Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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