I think I died a long time ago.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize