He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
