Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
