Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
