It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
