Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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