I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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