dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
