you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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