i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
