Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
