Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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