Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
