He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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