R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
