I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Two words: blizzard sex
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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