Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
