does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
