So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude i'm inner monologue high
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
