then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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