But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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