I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
