i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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