would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
