I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
