his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
