She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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