I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
