they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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