my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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