My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's shark week go big or go home
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
