Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
