what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
