he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
