Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
