I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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