Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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