I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
