It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
