just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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