And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
