Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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