I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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