grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
