i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize