I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Jerry, you need to find god
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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