So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
