So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
