you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
