Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
