Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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