Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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