I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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