Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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