That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
